Steve complained to his friend Al that lovemaking with his wife was 
becoming routine and boring.
"Get creative buddy. Break up the monotony. Why don't you try playing 
doctor for an hour?"
"Sounds great," Steve replied, "but how do you make it last for an hour?" 
"Hell, just keep her in the waiting room for 45 minutes!"

The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods, then hit into a few trees, 
then proceeded to hit across the fairway into another woods. Finally, 
after banging away several more times, he proceeded to hit into a sand 
trap. 
All the while, he'd noticed that the club professional had been watching. 
"What club should I use now?" he asked the pro. 
"I don't know," the pro replied. "What game are you playing?"

Q: How do you tell if you're making love to a nurse, a schoolteacher, or 
an airline stewardess?

A: A nurse says: "This won't hurt a bit." A schoolteacher says, "We're 
going to have to do this over and over
again until we get it right." An airline stewardess says, "Just hold this 
over your mouth and nose, and breath
normally."

Whats a blonde's favorite surgery?

A Slipodictomy.

On a very cold night, a young man dropped into the local
brothel and the madam said, "You'll have to wait."
"But there's lots of girls that aren't busy right now."
"Yes, but several of the rooms are closed for repairs."
"Listen, I'm pretty desperate. I don't need a room."
So she takes his money and he goes upstairs with one of
the staff and, after looking for a place to consummate
the transaction, they decide to do it on the roof. But
it's a very cold night, and they freeze to death and
fall to the sidewalk. A passing drunk looks them over,
staggers to the door, and knocks.

"Go away!" says the madam. "We don't allow drunks in here!"

"I don't want in," says the drunk. "I just wanted to tell
you that your sign fell down."