Microsoft Corp announced that they would purchase the
source the PenPoint operating system for the value of
one of Bill Gates eye-lashes (est. value $1.3 million).
Gates was quoted as saying "we are only doing what the
consumer has asked us to do: ship huge, bloated,
bug-ridden programs while using every trick in the book
to kill our competitors. As an example of our progress,
consider Windows CE which paints the screen slower on a
75 MHz MIPS RISC processor than the 16 MHz 68000 in the
Palm Pilot, while sucking the batteries dry in a tenth
the time." 

An economist is back in his old college town many years after
graduation and decides to drop in on one of his old professors.
He happens to see a copy of an exam sitting on the desk so he
picks it up to look at it. Upon deciding that it looks familiar he
comments to the professor that it is the same exam that he had
taken 10 years ago. The professor assures him that this is
correct but adds that this time the answers are different. 

BABY CHICKEN

A 50 year old woman was brought into a New York emergency room 
complaining of abdominal pains. 
During an examination, doctors found that the woman's labia were 
pinned together with old safety pins. Further inside, they found 
the dismembered body of a chicken. The woman explained that she 
inserted the chicken pieces, convinced that they would grow into a baby.