Bill Gates wanted to look good and impress everyone with his success. He 
decided to measure the accomplishments of Microsoft against General 
Motors. The comparison went like this: If automotive technology
had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades, you 
would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top 
speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or you could have an economy car that 
weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either 
case the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50. In response to 
all this goading, GM responds: "Yes, but would you really want to drive a 
car that crashes twice a day?

In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous 
husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on 
the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. (Ah! Justice!)

Wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun, a thief burst into the
bank one day.  Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled,
"FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS,  THIS IS A ****-UP!"  For a moment, 
everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard
completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved
his life, because he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't
have drawn and fired before the thief got him.  The would-be
thief ran away and is still at large.