When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt 
down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and 
the thundering voice of God answered, "There's just something about you 
that pisses me off.

by Stephen King

A new study says spanking is bad for kids, however, experts are a bit 
suspicious of the findings - the study was written in crayon.

Sam told me about the accident he was trying to find out 
about: 
Me:  So I heard about some car accident this morning.
Friend:  Yeah, it was Sam, he got hit by a car on the way to 
school. 
Me:  Oh my God, is he alright?
Friend:  I don't think so, they took him to the hospital.
Me:  ICU?  (intensive care unit)
Friend (quite serious):  I see you too, but this is no time to play 
peekaboo.