Recently I answered the phone and it was a sales person
from a long distance company. They asked for my late father
by name.
"I'm sorry," I answered, "but he's dead."
Their reply, "May I leave a number in case the situation
changes?" 

Old Simpson was a constant thorn in the side of the Parent-Teachers
Association, with his steadfast opposition to innovation. For one
thing, he was vociferously against the introduction of foreign
languages in the town's junior high school curriculum.
Waving his Bible high in the air, he shouted, "If English was good
enough for the prophets and the apostles, it's plenty good enough
for me." 

Chicago --30-year-old Emad Haddad was shot and killed Friday
afternoon after chasing two men who'd robbed his store-Sunburst
Food and Liquors-on Chi-Town's bright and glamorous 79th Street.

According to cops, two gents toting semi-auto pistols robbed the
store's registers. Witnesses say Emad The Genius (as he will be
remembered) ran after the men with a two-shot derringer and took
a shot at 'em. They returned the favor with a hail of bullets.
Haddad was struck in the head and died on the spot.