Rachel's blonde roommate had to make an emergency phone 
call to home and her pre-paid calling card had expired.  "I 
suggested she call collect.  She picked up the phone, looked 
at me bewildered, and asked, 'What's the number to 1-800-
COLLECT?'"

State Trooper on the NYS Thruway (I90) gave me a ticket 
the other day.  Speeding?  No.
     I was driving in the Granny lane (slow) and the Trooper 
pulled up beside me.  I hit a pheasent that stepped into the 
road from the shoulder.  Flew across the lane, hit the 
Trooper's windshield and broke it.
     The Trooper gave me the ticket for flipping him the bird.

Sign in a Belgrade hotel elevator: 

    To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin
    should enter more persons, each one should press a number of
    wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.