SIGN AT DENNY'S RESTAURANT:

        "Denny's is pleased to welcome persons of every ethnicity.
        Our booths are now color-coded by race so that our valued
        Black and Mexican patrons will know where to sit."

The other day, while I was seeing my shrink, he asked me what 
I looked for in a woman.

Naturally I replied, "Big tits."

He said, "No, I meant for a serious relationship."

So I said, "Oh, seriously big tits."

"No, no, no. I mean what do you look for in the one woman you 
want to spend the rest of your life with?"

He looked at me kind of worried as I just sat there on his couch 
laughing until my gut hurt. "Spend the rest of my life with one 
woman? No woman's tits are that big."

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by
          placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with
          wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was
          placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button
          each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.
          Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect
          confessed.