"Are you seriously asking or are you just being a dick?"
                        -- Dave Arthur to Gerrit Riessen

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but
       wish we didn't." -- Erica Jong

For your convenience our staff is fluent in monosyllabic grunts. 

"Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate
it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it
and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for
seventy-five cents." 

     - Billiam Coronel 

According to a new survey 60% of adults say they're aware of someone
who's gone to work under the influence of drugs.
Apparently the other 40% have never heard of the Dallas Cowboys. 

     - Conan O'Brien