"Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least
       triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to
       recollect how often we have told it to the same person?" -- La
       Rochefoucauld

"Americans have different ways of saying things.
They say "elevator", we say "lift" ...
they say "President", we say "stupid psychopathic git." 

Alexai Sayle.

"In the beginning there was nothing... then there was EXCEL 97... Hmm... Okay,
 before that there were some other versions of Excel... and some nachos.
 But nothing else...  and Excel 97 did calceth thy numbers and it hath
 plotteth thy data...  And lo, it was draggeth-and-droppethed into thy lesser
 applications... And this was good and the world was at peace and stuff."
                        -- Excel 97 Hidden Credits

Women say all men are the same, but they 
have no problem telling you how 
different you are from Mel Gibson.

Sent by mike

Men are conservative after dinner.
        
                              --Emerson