"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets." 

     - Dave Edison 

Denniston's law:
Virtue is its own punishment.

"My invention can detect human stupidity. It has a very simple interface.
 All I do is point it at people."
"Then what does it do?"
"Why would it need to do anything else?"
                        -- Dogbert, Dilbert, Dogbert

"In the beginning the world was without form, and void. And God said
 'Let there be light'. And God separated the light from the dark.
 And did two loads of laundry."
                        -- Kevin Krisciunas, in rec.humor.funny

"If infinite rednecks fired infinite shotguns at an infinite number of road
 signs, they'd eventually create all the great literary works of the world in
 braille."
                        -- Discordian Quote File