"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers
exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will
instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre
and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has
already happened." 

     - Douglas Adams 

Women have half the money and all the 
Pussy and still are not happy...

Sent by Eric

"I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York 
said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't
cold enough. Let's go west.'"

                                            - Richard Jeni

I don't exercise at all. If God meant for us to
touch our toes, he would have put them further up on
our body.

The first thing I do after opening a bar of Ivory soap is to
scrape off the .0056 part that's impure.
I mean, who wants to wash themselves with that crap?