Ethnologists up with the Sioux 
               Wired home for two punts, one canoe. 
                    The answer next day 
                    Said, "Girls on the way, 
               But what the hell's a 'panoe'?" 

There was a young man in Norway, 
               Tried to jerk himself off in a sleigh, 
                    But the air was so frigid 
                    It froze his balls rigid, 
               And all he could come was frappe. 

                    There was a young lad from Nahant
                            
                    Who was made like the Sensitive Plant.
                            When asked, "Do you fuck?"
                            He replied, "No such luck.
                            
                    I would if I could but I can't."
                            

               There was a young lady named Flynn 
               Who thought fornication a sin, 
                    But when she was tight 
                    It seemed quite all right, 
               So everyone filled her with gin. 

There once was a writer named Twain
Who had a peculiar stain
Surrounding the head
Of his prick, it was red
And it was said to wash off in the rain.