There was a young fellow from Wark, 
                                        Who, when he screws, has to bark. 
                                                      His wife is a bitch, 
                                                      With a terrible itch, 
                                        So the town never sleeps after dark. 

               The was a young lady with worts 
               In the most private of places, of course. 
                    She went to the doctor 
                    Who said he would shock her, 
               But voltage would not be the source. 

My Very First Time



                        The sky was dark
                        The moon was high
                        All alone just she and I
                        Her hair was soft
                        Her eyes were blue
                        I knew just what
                        She wanted to do
                        Her skin so soft
                        Her legs so fine
                        I ran my fingers
                        Down her spine
                        I didn't know how
                        But I tried my best
                        I started by placing
                        My hands on her breast
                        I remember my fear
                        My fast beating heart
                        But slowly she spread
                        Her legs apart
                        And when I did it
                        I felt no shame
                        All at once
                        The white stuff came
                        At last it's finished
                        It's all over now
                        My first time ever
                        At milking a cow.....

There was a young girl of Machias
Whose bloomers were cut on the bias,
With an opening behind
To let out the wind,
And to let the boys in once or twias.

A pious young lady named Finnegan 
               Would caution her beau, "Now you're in again, 
                    Please watch it just right 
                    So you'll last through the night, 
               For I certainly don't want to sin again."