Spurred on by a very high wager
With an envious Lieutenant Major,
Ben proceeded to fart
The complete oboe part
Of the Hayden Octet in B-Major. 

There was a young fellow in Buckingham. 
            Wrote a treatise on cunts and on sucking them, 
                But later this work 
                Was eclipsed by a Turk 
            Whose topic was ass-holes and fucking them. 

In a conference, lonely Fred posted
His plea for a friendly young co-ed
The response was frenetic
From gals energetic
And he died when his modem exploded 

There once was a old man from Norway -
who cussed as he sat in a doorway-
the door smacked him flat-
and he yelled "what was that"?
that disgruntled old man from Norway!

A quick witted astronaut, Dwight,
When asked about his upcoming flight,
Did he have worry one
'Bout landing on the sun ?
"Heck no, we're landing at night!"