A passionate red-headed girl, 
               When you kissed her, her senses would whirl, 
                    And her twat would get wet 
                    And would wiggle and fret, 
               And her cunt-lips would curl and unfurl. 

               There was a young fellow named Perkin 
               Who was always jerkin' his gherkin. 
                    His wife said, "Now, Perkin, 
                    Stop jerkin' your gherkin: 
               You're shirkin' your ferkin'---you bastard!" 

A virgin felt urged in Toulouse 
               Till she thought she would try sef-abuse. 
                    In search of a hard on 
                    She ran out in the garden, 
               And was had by a statue of Zeus. 

There was a gay parson of Tooting 
            Whose roe he was frequently shooting, 
                Till he married a lass 
                With a face like my ass, 
            And a cunt you could put a top-boot in. 

               An innocent boy in Lapland 
               Was told that friggin' was grand. 
                    But at his first trial 
                    He said with a smile, 
               "I've had the same feeling by hand."