Barbie and G.I. Joe                                                               

    A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her
    turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap. Santa asks, "What
    would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?"

    The little girl replies, "I want a Barbie and G.I. Joe."
    Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says,
    "I thought Barbie comes with Ken."

    "No," said the little girl. "She comes with G.I. Joe,
    she fakes it with Ken."

How do you turn a Fox into a Pit Bull?

Marry her !

Sent by Bob

What is the definition of ultimate rejection? 

     Your hand falling asleep while masturbating. 

Three Reform Rabbis were in a terrible auto wreck. None 
survived. 

One minute they were driving along the highway, talking and 
laughing and joking, and the next, BOOM! they were before the 
Creator of all. 

Shaking his head, The Omnipotent One looks at the three. 
"Reform I can understand. But where will it end? You! 
Goldblum! The ashtrays in your temple so My people could 
smoke while the Torah was being read???"

Goldblum shuddered.

God went on. "I can live with that. Men are weak, but the Word 
is strong!" 

Goldblum sighed with relief. 

"Bauman! Really, I can accept My people need to eat, but 
really: serving Ham Sandwiches to the devout at the temple 
during Yom Kippur?" 

Bauman hung his head in shame. 

"Even that I can allow to pass, even with the eating of that 
which is not Kosher. I'm not pleased at all with the playing fast 
and loose with my people, but I can accept these 
indiscretions."

Bauman also heaved a sigh of relief.

Finally, He turns to the third rabbi and says, "You, Rabinowitz, 
have gone too far! Am I asking too much? No, you flaunt 
the world at Me, even on the holiest days of Rosh Hashana and 
Yom Kippur by putting out a sign saying.... 

"Closed for the Holiday !!!"

A college professor in an anatomy class asked his students to sketch a 
naked man. As the professor walked around the class checking the sketches 
he noticed that a sexy young coed had sketched the man with an erect 
penis. The professor commented, "Oh, no, I wanted it the other way." She 
replied, "What other way?"