Two men were stopped by a TV newswoman doing street
interviews about the upcoming presidential primary election.

"I'm not voting for any of the candidates," the first man said.  "I
don't know any of them."

"I feel the same way," the second man said.  "Only I know
them all."

Have you heard about the new orgasm pill just approved by the FDA for women?
It comes with a 16 inch applicator 

There are three friends, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.
They were on a cruise ship and it was heading home.  When they
got about 20 miles of shore the boat began to sink (no idea
way use your imagination).  The three girls jump off and swim
to a nearby island.  After being there a few days the brunette
tries to swim to shore.  She gets about five miles off the
island's shore and drowns. After a few days pass the redhead decides
that she will try. She gets about have way and drowns.  Now
realizing all her friends are gone she decides to try too.  Now she
swims for hours.  She gets to where she can see the shore but she
is so tired she decieds to turn around and go back.

Sent by Evan

Two cows were talking in the field one day.

First Cow: Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?
Second Cow: Yeah, makes you glad you're a penguin, doesn't it? 

How does a yuppie couple perform doggie-style sex?

He sits up and begs and she lies down and plays dead.