Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging
their right foot as the walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other
knowingly, points at his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969." 
     The other hooks his thumb behind him and says, "Dog shit, 20 feet
back." 

Q: What's the ultimate rejection?

A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

There was this little boy who went in the whore house with a
dead frog on a leash. He went to the counter and asked the
pimp for a whore with aids, the man knew he was young but the
boy said "please mister, just give me a whore with aids, i
have money thats no problem" the man was like ok "if you have
the money". So the boy went in and fucked the whore and came
out smiling to the man at the counter. The guy didn't understnad
why he was so happy. "its a long story" the boy said. "tell me,
i can wait" hte man said impaciently. "ok" the boy says "i have
aids now right? well--i'll go home and screw the babysitter...
she'll get aids, then my dad will come  homw and screw her...
he'll get aids, my dad will screw my  mom...she'll get aids.
Then my mom will then screw the milk man

.....and he's the son of a bitch that ran over my frog!"

sent by Alaine

There was the surgeon who was arrested for drunken
driving. They let him go, though. He was already an hour
late for an operation. 

If Timex made toasters...
They would be cheap and small quartz-crystal wrist toasters
that take a licking and keep on toasting.