Doctor, the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I 
can't get it up for my wife anymore.

"Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see 
what I can do."

The next day the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off 
your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the 
way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Ok, you may put 
your clothes back on."

The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," 
he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection either."

Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven.  At the gates, an angel
tells Ford, "Well, you've been such a good guy and your invention,
the assembly line for the automobile, changed the world. As a
reward, you can hang out with anyone you want to in Heaven."

Ford thinks about it and says, "I wanna hang out with God,
himself."  The befeathered fellow at the gate takes Ford to the
Throne Room and introduces him to God.  Ford then asks God, "Hey,
aren't you the inventor of Woman?" God says, "Ah, yes." "Well,"
says Ford, You have some major design flaws in your invention:
l. There's too much front end protrusion
2. It chatters at high speeds
3. The rear end wobbles too much, and
4. The intake is placed to close to the exhaust."

"Hmmm.." replies God, "hold on." God goes to the Celestial
Supercomputer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the result.
The computer prints out a slip of paper and God reads it. "It may
be that my invention is flawed," God replies to Henry Ford, "but
according to my Computer, more men are riding my invention than yours."

A man calls his family doctor:

man: Doctor, for the last week my wife has thought that she was a rabbit.

doctor: Ok, bring her in and I'll try to help.

man: Fine, but whatever you do, don't cure her. 

What's black and crispy and comes on a stick?

                         Joan of Arc.

Q: What do your wife and a condom have in common?
A: When there not on your cock there in your wallet.