A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market
   looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster,
   one that could service all of his many hens.
   
   He told this to the market vendor. The vendor replied, "I have just
   the rooster for you". Dom here is the horniest rooster you will ever
   see!"
   
   So the farmer took Dom back to the farm. Before setting him loose in
   the henhouse though, he gave Dom a little pep talk.
   
   "Dom", he said, "I'm counting on you to do your stuff."
   
   And without a word Dom strutted into the henhouse. Dom was as fast as
   he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much
   squawking and many feathers flying, till Dom had finished having his
   way with each hen.
   
   But Dom didn't stop there. He went in to the barn and mounted all the
   horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace. Then he went to
   the pighouse, where he did the same.
   
   The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief, cried out, "Stop,
   Dom,you'll kill yourself."
   
   But Dom continued, seeking out each farm animal in the same manner.
   Well, the next morning, the farmer looked out and saw Dom lying there
   on his lawn. His legs were up in the air, his eyes rolled back, and
   his long tongue hanging out. A buzzard was already circling above Dom.
   
   The farmer walked up to Dom saying, "Oh you poor thing, look what you
   did, you've gone and killed yourself. I warned you my little buddy."
   
   "Shhhhh," Dom whispered. "The buzzard's getting closer."
   

Why do elephants live in herds?
To get a wholesale reduction on the shoes with yellow soles.

In the beginning, God created earth and rested.
Then God created man and rested.
Then God created woman.
Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

"Shhaaayyy, buddy, what's a 'Breathalyzer'?" asked one drunk 
to his friend at the next barstool.

"Well, I'd have to say it's a bag that tells you when you've drunk 
way too much," answered the equally wasted gent.

"Ah hell, whaddya know? I've been married to one of those for 
years and years now!"

What did the egg say to the boiling water?


"I just got laid and now you want me to get hard?!"

Sent by Sarah