Got in trouble for watching a woman breast feed her baby at the mall, she 
got mad and told her husband to beat the shit out of me....now I admit the 
flashbulb may have made the baby cry.... 

I was on a Southwest flight once that was delayed at the gate 
after everyone boarded.   The flight attendant said over the 
intercom, "We're sorry for the delay.  The machine that normally 
rips the handles off your luggage is broken, so we're having to 
do it by hand.   We should be finished and on our way shortly."

When the judge called the case of People vs. Steven Lewon Crook.
The bailiff opened the door to the holding cell and called,
"Crook, come forward." Five of the prisoners entered the courtroom.