My boyfriend and I were at my daughter's volleyball
game when we noticed a couple in the bleachers.
They were being VERY affectionate.
She was running her hands all over him and nibbling on his ear.
He had his hands on her too. 
I said to my boyfriend,
"I don't know whether to watch them or the game."
He said, "Watch THEM! You already KNOW how to play volleyball."

Carolyn had been born and raised in Iowa and her first trip outside the 
state was to enroll in college in New York city.

Her roommate was a typical NY snob, yet had nice streak. After hearing 
Carolyn say she was from Iowa her roommate was quick to point out "that's 
all very nice, but here in the east we pronounce it Ohio." 

Karen was telling me that her to-be-ex, a police officer, asked
the judge to please remind her to re-register a gun he'd given
her in her name.  "You see, your honor, to buy it, I had to 
register it in my name."  The judge said, "Why's this so impor-
tant?"  "Because, Your Honor, I don't want to be shot with 'my 
own gun'."  The judge had to hold a piece of paper in front of his 
face to hide his laughter.