There once was a conservative college in the mid-west that had 
a standing rule, the heat was not to be turned on in the 
dormitories prior to a certain date. 

Unfortunately, one year, winter decided to rear its ugly head 
early. Students in both the men's and women's dormitories 
complained about the bitter cold, but were told that nothing 
could be done. 

After days of no heat and no respite in immediate sight, the 
ladies realized that their dorm faced the equally cold men's 
dorm. They turned a bed sheet into a banner with the 
message,

"TURN ON THE HEAT OR WE'LL TURN ON THE BOYS!"

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this
creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into
the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm
is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the
whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."
"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I
sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment.
He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant
smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his
artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out. 

The re-release of George Lucas' "Star Wars" over the raked in millions.
"This came as a relief to Princess Leia who had fallen on hard times
and was considering becoming a spokeswoman for Weight Watchers and Ocean
Spray." (Joshua Sostrin)
Says Paul Ecker, "Teenagers all over the country are asking the same
question: Who's Mark Hamill?"
The film was enhanced with even more special effects. "In a related move,
Sweden will re-release Ingmar Bergman's films "enhanced with even more
gloom,'" (Michael Edens)