My wife and I were watching a show on The Learning Channel titled, "A 
Dog's World." One segment focused on dogs practice of urinating everywhere 
to define who they are and whose territory it is, among many other things.
"Basically," the narrator said, "dogs are leaving each other messages."
I looked at my wife and said, "So I guess we could call it p-mail." 

A business man called and had a question about the 
documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy 
discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. 
"Oh, no, I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to 
have one of those." I double checked, and sure enough, his 
stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've 
been to China 4 times and everytime they have accepted my 
American Express."

SIGN AT WHITEHOUSE:

        "In case of impeachment, do not panic.  Please select target
        from list of unpopular countries."