"It's Benno with a black coat, dark hair and a hairy bit."
"No, this is a hairy bit."
"What about this hairy bit?"
"No, this is a stiff hairy bit."
                        -- Karen (talking about my facial hair),
                           Andrew (talking about Karen's hair),
                           me (being rude),
                           Karen (not thinking about what she's saying)

'The surest way to make a monkey out of a man is to quote him' 

Robert Benchley

"I'm sorry, but I am not turned on at the sight of a dragon during sexual
 intimacy..."
                        -- Dante, on oz#gothic

Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature,
volume, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as it damn well
pleases.
        -- Harvard's Law

"I just played two games of tetris in parallel... I won..."
                        -- Adrian