The Beer Prayer 

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),
At home as it is in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillage,
As we forgive those who spill against 
us.
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the beer, the bitter, and 
the lager.

Barmen


Sent by aftab

There was a young girl from Sofire.
               Who succumbed to her lover's desire. 
                    She said, "It's a sin, 
                    But now that it's in, 
               Could you shove it a few inches higher?" 

There was a young girl of Claridge's 
            Who said, "What a strange thing marriage is, 
                When you stop to think 
                That I've poured down the sink 
            Five abortions and fifty miscarriages!" 

Mary had a little sheep,
And with the sheep she went to sleep,
The sheep turned out to be a ram,
Now Mary has a little lamb.

A musician in gay Montebello
Amused herself playing the cello,
But not a solo,
For she used as a bow
The dong of a sturdy young fellow.