There was a young fellow from Wark, 
                                        Who, when he screws, has to bark. 
                                                      His wife is a bitch, 
                                                      With a terrible itch, 
                                        So the town never sleeps after dark. 

There was a young girl, very sweet,
Who thought sailors' meat quite a treat.
When she sat on their lap,
She unbuttoned their flap
And always had plenty to eat.

There was a young man named Ringer,
Who was seducing a beautiful singer.
He said with a grin,
"I've now rammed it in!"
She said, "You mean that isn't your finger?" 

There once was a monkey named Spunky,
Who was always referred to as chunky.
So he went on a diet,
He shouldn't have tried it.
He became anorexic and died.


Sent by Mike F.

Said the whore whom they called Geraldine,
"When I think of the pricks that I've seen,
And all of the nuts
And the arseholes and butts
And bastards like you in between."