Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood:

In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life
Nov. 2, 1837
Aged 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
One Wood
Within another.
The outer wood
Is very good:
We cannot praise
The other.

When the Bermondsey bricklayers struck, 
               Bill Bloggins was 'aving a fuck. 
                    By uni-on rules, 
                    He 'ad to down tools--- 
               Now wasn't that bloddy 'ard luck! 

A Biblical party called Ham 
               Cried, "Cuss it, I don't give a damn! 
                    My father's yard measure 
                    I view with great pleasure, 
               Such a bloody great battering ram!" 

As Apollo was chasing the fair 
               Daphne she vanished in air. 
                    He could find but a shrub 
                    With thick bark on the hub 
               And not even a knot-hole to spare. 

   You're lucky
   You had your chance
   I tried to fart,
   And shit my pants!