There was a young lassie named Phyllis 
               Was deflowered one night in a Willys. 
                    Before they were through 
                    Her spine was askew, 
               And I very much fear that it still is. 

There once was a girl from New Haven
Whose pubic hair was not shaven
But missing because
She slept without drawers
Within range of a nest building raven. 

There once was a man from New Boston, 
            Who bought a new sportscar--an Austin; 
                There was room for his ass, 
                And a gallon of gas, 
            And his balls hung out till he lost 'em. 

Said an ardent young bridegroom named Trask,
"I will grant any wish that you ask,"
Said the bride, "Kiss me, dearie,
Until I grow weary,"
But he died of old age at the task. 

There was a young lady whose thighs,
When spread showed a slit of such size,
And so deep and so wide,
You could play cards inside---
Much to her bridegroom's surprise.