There was a young lady called Bright 
Who could travel much faster than light 
she departed one day
in a relative way 
And arrived on the previous night

Said a pretty young lady from Croft,
Whilst amusing herself in the loft,
"Salami or wurst
Is what I choose first,
But with baloney I know I've been boffed" 

There was an old hag named Le Sueur 
            Who just was an out-and-out whore. 
                Between her big tits 
                You could come for two bits, 
            And she'd fuck in any old sewer. 

Here lies the bones of Screwy Dick,
He spent his whole life with a corkscrew prick,
He searched and he searched in the feudal hunt,
To find the woman with the corkscrew cunt.
He finally found her and then dropped dead,
The son-of-a-bitch had a left hand thread.


Sent by Todd

Said a pretty young lady from Croft,
Whilst amusing herself in the loft,
"Salami or wurst
Is what I choose first,
But with baloney I know I've been boffed"