"Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance 
Company."

"Would you spell that, please?"

"Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. 
W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you."

The operator pauses.  "Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with 
my supervisor . . ."

A middle aged man and woman fall in love, and decide to get married. On their
wedding night they settle into the bridal suite and the bride says to her new
groom, "Please be gentle... I am still a virgin." The startled groom says "How can
that be? You've been married twice..."

The bride responds... "Well you see it was this way: My first husband, he was a
psychiatrist, and all he ever wanted to do was talk about sex. Catching her breath,
she says "My second husband was a stamp collector, and all he ever wanted to do
was............. Oh God, I miss him!"

How do you confuse a blonde?

Put her in a round room and tell her to pee in the corner.

How do you confuse her even more?

Ask her where she went.

Sent by Chris

The pretty secretary came in late for work the third day in a row.
The boss called her into his office and said, "Now look Sharon, I
know we had a wild fling for a while, but that's over. I expect
you to conduct yourself like any other employee around here. 
The boss pressed on, " Who told you you could come and go as you
please around here ?" 
Sharon simply smiled, lit up a cigarette, and while exhaling said,
...."My lawyer."

   A case for the Third Universal Cardinal Rule of Thumb: Never
   be absolute, unless absolutely necessary:
   A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In
   English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some
   languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a
   negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can
   form a negative."
   A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."