A young teenager comes home from school and asks her 
mother, "Is it true what Rita just told me?  That babies 
come out of the same place where boys put their thingies?"

"Yes, dear," replies her mother, pleased that the subject had 
finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it.
     
"But then when I have a baby, won't it knock my teeth out?"

A man goes to a doctor and says:
"Doctor, it's embarassing, but every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm."
"Gee, what are you taking for it?"
"Snuff."

Did you hear about the woman who has five legs?


                    Her knickers fit her like a glove!

Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path
of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your
money", he demanded. 
Indignant, the affluent man replied, "Hey, watch it - I'm a United
States Congressman!" 

"In that case," replied the mugger, "give me MY money."

Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test. The
doctor says to the first man, "What is three times three?"
"274," was his reply.

The doctor says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is
three times three?" 

"Tuesday," replies the second man.

The doctor says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's
three times three?" 

"Nine," says the third man. "That's great!" says the doctor. "How did
you get that?"

"Simple," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."