Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man 
speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the 
man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

I admitted to my friend that I hadn't had sex for a while.
My friend reassured me that I won't forget it, cuz sex is
like riding a bicycle.
I know it's been a while, but I don't ever remember pedaling... 

Q: What is worse than a dead dog on your piano?
A: An infected pussy on your organ.

"What's the difference between the North American porcupine 
and the African porcupine," the society matron asked the 
zookeeper.

"The principal difference is the North American species has a 
longer prick."

This, as you might assume, distressed the matron who 
stormed immediately to the zoo manager's office. The zoo 
manager said, "Ma'am, I apologize for my staff's unfortunate 
choice of terms. What the keeper should have said is the 
North American species has a longer *quill*. In fact, their 
pricks are just about the same size."

What happens when a lawyer takes viagra?
He gets taller!!

Sent by Bill