Little Gregory wakes up in the middle of the night feeling alone and 
scared. He goes into his mother's room for comfort and he sees his mom 
standing naked in front of the mirror. She is rubbing her chest and 
groaning, "I want a man, I want a man." Shaking his head in bewilderment, 
Gregory takes off to bed. Next night the same thing happens. On the third 
night, Gregory wakes up and goes into his mom's room but this time there 
is a man in bed with his mom.
Gregory hoofs back to his room and whips off his pajamas, rubs his chest 
and groans " I want a bike, I want a bike." 

A young man walks into a singles bar with a roll of quarters taped inside 
the crotch of his jeans. He looks around, then sits next to the most 
attractive woman there. He was very pleased with himself after he noticed 
her constantly glancing down at his crotch. "Hi, there, I'm Jerry," he 
said, as he went into one of his well rehearsed routines, "and I help 
produce a T.V. quiz show. Is there any question I can answer for you?" "As 
a matter of fact there is," she said as she glanced down once more toward 
his embellished jeans. "Do you have change for a dollar?"

Father Goose Story No. 6

Two guys were stranded on a desert island.
The only way they could get food was to kill
sea birds by throwing rocks at them.
By the time they were rescued,
 ...  They had left no tern unstoned.

There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment.
One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store.
He went up to the shop assistant and asked "Could I have a fucket
please?"
The assistant asked"Pardon sir?".
"Can I have a fucket please?" Replied the man. 
"Oh you mean a bucket!" The shop assistant replied.
The old man said "Yes, that's what I said". So the man paid for his
bucket and went into the antique shop. 

In the antique shop he went to the cashier and asked -
"Can I have a cock please?" 
The cashier looked very puzzled and asked "Pardon?". 
The man again asked "Can I have a cock please?" 
The cashier replied "Oh you mean a clock! - yes certainly sir." 
So he paid for the clock and walked out of the shop. 

The next stop was to the bakers. He went to the assistant and
asked "Can I have a bum please?" 
The assistant said "Sorry sir what did you say?". 
So he repeated himself "Can I have a bum please?". 
The assistant said " Oh right, you mean a bun!". 
The old man said "Yes that's what I said in the first place."
So the man bought a bun and walked out of the shop. 

As he was walking down the street a little old lady came up to
him and asked "Excuse me sir, but do you know the time?"
The man replied "Yes certainly, hold my bum and fucket while
I get my cock out." 

Why does Helen Keller wear tight pants? 

     - So people can read her lips.