Joan said her ex husband would still come by after their split to 
do the garden, clean the house.  I came home one day to find 
him there and we had a fight.  He sat on the couch and I stood, 
and we yelled back and forth about how he was no longer
welcome in the house.  Finally, we calmed down.  He 
apologized for yelling and I apologized for not telling him his 
right testicle was hanging out of his shorts the whole time we 
were fighting.

My cousin Denney came to visit from the farm last summer. I asked
how his bus ride was and he said he had a good ride except for a
rude lady he encountered.

I asked what the problem was, and he said that when the lady got
on there were no seats left, so he offered her his seat. She
declined since she was only riding for a short distance. However,
while she was standing with her butt right in his face, he noticed
her dress was caught up in her crack. He decided to be nice and help
her so he pulled it out.

Well, she turned around and wopped him hard enough to turn his lights
out!

Then I asked him what he did then?

And Denney said that since she was that rude, he poked the dress right
back in there! 

As an art teacher for an elementary school here in Jacksonville, Florida, 
one of my recent assignments for the children was to enter a contest that 
our new national football team, the Jacksonville Jaguars, was promoting.

The winning artwork gets placed on the back of the season tickets, so I 
encouraged the children to come up with a good logo and a colorful 
creation.

One innocent little girl was so enthused about her masterpiece she turned 
in to me. It had a picture of a mean looking jaguar that read, "You're 
messin' with the wrong pussy."