Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.

Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and 
smacks included.

Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at Tim Alley's 
Grocery Store. The owner Tim doesn't know what Junior's 
problem is, but the boys like to tease him. They say he is two 
bricks shy of a load, or two pickles shy of a barrel. To prove it, 
sometimes they offer Junior his choice between a nickel and a 
dime. 

He always takes the nickel, they say, because it's bigger.
One day after Junior grabbed the nickel, Tim got him off to one 
side and said, "Junior, those boys are making fun of you. They 
think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. 
Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?"

Junior said, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd quit doing it!"

The Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the 
posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name.

She said, "I'm Mrs. Ladislav Abdulkhashim Zybkcicraznovskaya 
from the Republic of Uzbekistan visiting my daughter in 
Columbia."

The cop put away his summons book and pen, and said, 
"Well... OK... but don't let me catch you speeding again."