Did you hear that there was a plane wreck in England. The little
two-seater crashed right into grave yard. The rescue teams have
already found 1529 bodies.

IDIOTS WITH COMPUTERS

I worked with an individual who plugged her power strip back
into itself and for the life of her, could not understand why
her system would not turn on.

I was recently in my local pub in Scotland, and it was pretty quiet.
There were several people sitting at the bar with me, and the bar-lady
was reading a paper.

She looked at me, puzzled, and said "John, you do crosswords, don't
you?"
"Yes," I replied, truthfully.
"I've got one here - 'Stranded, as on a desert island', 10 letters, and
the first is 'M'.  Any ideas?"
"Marooned," I said.
The other customers shouted out their orders: "A whusky," "a pint o'
heavy", etc, etc.

Delighted at this display of humour, I refused to pay for a drop.