The two butchers were brought into the emergency room.
They both had their left hands bandaged.  "What happened?"  I 
asked the first one.  "I was cutting some meat when the cleaver 
slipped and cut my hand."  I asked the other one how he had
been injured.  "Oh, I was showing the other guys what *this*
guy was doing and I did the same thing."

A young woman was doing some business at Marshall University and
parked in an area clearly marked "no parking."
After taking care of business, she returned to her car to find a
campus security guard writing her a ticket.
"Why are you giving me a ticket?" she asked.
"You're not allowed to park here," the guard said.  "See that sign?
It says 'Fine for Parking Here.'"
"Well," said the violator, "I thought it was a fine place to park."
The guard began to laugh.  The more he thought about it, the harder
he laughed.
He tore up the ticket and waved the woman on her way.

 ounces of choice sirloin steak, boiled to your likeness and smothered 
with golden fried onion rings.