Allen was in a store that was playing Steve Miller's "Jet Liner".  
He said there was some kid next to him that had the lyrics
completely screwed up and was singing, "Big Old Rat Had A
Light On . . ."

The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to
his insurance company.The company, suspecting negligence, sent out
one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out
and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

An election-time bumper-sticker:

"Jews for Buchanan"