A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet
Earth taken from space.  On the back it said, "Wish you were here."

"Pink as a beetroot..."
                        -- Anthony the Vision Mix Guy

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in
   Europe-Jackie Mason

"Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting
thought for those people who can't remember where they leave
things." 

     Unknown 

Last words from a general in the
American Civil War:  "Nonsense!  They couldn't hit an elephant at this
dist--"