* There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and
       found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his
       sleep and found himself divorced.

"Plaudipus: a small roman mammal that lays eggs and then presents you with
 a bill."
                        -- Heath, with minimal contribution from me

"I think if we all acted the way we really felt, four out of eight people 
at a dinner table would be sitting there sobbing." 

-- Jim Carrey on the human condition in the London Observer.

"Ski!:
     A shout to alert people ahead that a loose ski is coming down the
     hill.  Another warning skiers should be familiar with is 'Avalanche!'
     (which tells everyone that a hill is coming down the hill)."
                        -- The Skiers' Dictionary

"I think I have it. A man talking sense to himself is no madder than a man
 talking nonsense not to himself."
"Or just as mad."
"Or just as mad."
"And he does both."
"So there you are."
"Stark raving sane."
                        -- Guildenstern, Rosencrantz,
                                "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead"