"Just because we pay inexperienced strangers to tell us how to do our jobs,
 that doesn't mean we're morons!"
"Yeah! It's a coincidence."
                        -- Wally, Dilbert

"Oh yeah? My ENTIRE FAMILY was killed by gangsters... or maybe they moved
 to Tucson... and now I crave VENGEANCE."
"HA! My entire family AND MY DOG were crushed during a civil war re-
 enactment... and now I'm ITCHING to dispense justice indiscriminately!!"
"I just like to KILL people."
                        -- Various generic vigilante superheroes, "The Tick"

What we call human nature, is actually human habit. -- Jewel

When that fool Reagan said that the Soviet Union was a failed
experiment headed for the ash heap of history, I knew he was a
demagogue.
        When that fool Reagan said that the Soviet Union was an evil
empire, I knew he was a dangerous kook.
        When that fool Reagan said that we could end the Cold War by
escalating the arms race, I knew the odds favored nuclear
annihilation.
        When the Soviet Union went broke, dissolved, and repudiated
its past, I knew it was all Gorbachev's genius, and that fool Reagan
had nothing to do with it.
        Because if that fool Reagan was right all along...
        ...what kind of fool am I?
        --Jules Feiffer

"I bought an audio cleaning tape. I'm a big fan of theirs."

Kevin Gildea.