There was an old scholar named Nick 
               Who wrote Latin and Greek with his prick. 
                    He peed a paean 
                    In the snow by the john 
               In script more than three inches thick. 

There was a young fellow named Hyde
               Who took a girl out for a ride. 
                    He mucked up her fuck-hole 
                    And fucked up her muck-hole, 
               And charged her two dollars beside. 

There was a young fellow named Simon
Who tried to discover a hymen.
But he found every girl
Had relinguished her pearl
In exchange for a solitaire diamond. 

               Said Senator David I. Walsh, 
               "These charges against me are false. 
                    Though I did go to Brooklyn 
                    For sooklyn and fooklyn, 
               Not a gob laid his hands on my balsh." 

            A big bollocksed dancer, Durango, 
            Had trouble while dancing Fandango, 
                The blood from his twirls 
                Overfilled the guys pearls 
            Which swelled to the size of a mango.