There was a young lady named Knox
Who kept a pet snake in her box.
It was trained not to hiss
When she sat down to piss,
But would nibble the noggins off cocks. 

                    There was a young lady of Bhore
                            
                    Who was courted by gallants galore.
                            Their ardent protestin'
                            She found interestin',
                            
                    And ended her life as a virgin.
                            
                                              

There was a young Jewess named Hannah
Who sucked off her lover's banana.
    She swore that the cream
    That shot out in a stream
Tasted better than Biblical manna.

                    Peter, first Duke of Orange
                            
                    Was limited to a miserable four-inch,
                            But technique in a keyhole
                            Developed his P-hole
                            
                    "Til at last it got caught in the door-hinge.
                            

Dr. Seuss's Technical Manual



 What If Dr. Seuss Did Technical Writing?

 Here's an easy game to play.
 Here's an easy thing to say:

 If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
 And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
 And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
 Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

 If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
 And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
 And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
 Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

 You can't say this?
 What a shame sir!
 We'll find you
 Another game sir.

 If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
 Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
 But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
 That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

 And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss
 So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
 Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
 'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

 When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
 And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc,
 Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
 Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!