There was a young fellow of Mayence,
Who fucked his own ass - in defiance
Not only of custom
And morals, dad bust him,
But most of the known laws of science.

Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood:

In Memory of Beza Wood
Departed this life
Nov. 2, 1837
Aged 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
One Wood
Within another.
The outer wood
Is very good:
We cannot praise
The other.

NIGHT OF DARKNESS

AS I LOOKED OUT THE WINDOW OF THE NIGHT
AND STARE INTO THE DARKNESS.
A WAKING NIGHTMARE OF DELIGHT
ETERNAL BLACKNESS UNTIL SUNRISE.
THE SPIRIT OF DARKNESS FLOWING THROUGH YOU BLOOD
FOREVER LASTING HAPPINESS.
A SINGLE DEATH ONCE A NIGHT
TO QUENCH THE THIRST OF THE ILVING DEAD.
NOT EVEN A CORPSE LEFT TO ROT
THEY VANISH FROM THE DARK PARKING LOT.


Sent by PHILIP

There was an old gent from Kentuck 
            Who boasted a filigreed schmuck, 
                But he put it away 
                For fear that one day 
            He might put it in and get stuck. 

The naughty old bishop of Birmingham
buggered two boys whilst comfirming 'em
 as the knelt before god
 he pulled out his rod
and pumped his episcopal sperm in 'em