There was a young girl named Anheuser
Who said that no man could surprise her.
But Pabst took a chance,
Found Schlitz in her pants,
And now she is sadder Budweiser.

On a bridge overlooking a ravine
Archibald was screwing Kathleen.
The force of his lunge
Caused the whole bridge to plunge.
The worst fucking disaster yet seen. 

               Each man that Miss Jones chose to wed with, 
               She first liked to paint the town red with, 
                    For having made merry, 
                    She then became very 
               Aroused and fantastic in bed with. 

There was an old man of Duluth
Whose cock was shot off in his youth.
He fucked with his nose,
And his fingers and toes,
And he came through a hole in his tooth. 

               Meet Elmer, young son of the Thorpes, 
               Afflicted with psychotic warps. 
                    His idea of fun 
                    Is to bugger a nun, 
               And then vomit all over the corpse.