There was a young fellow named Price 
Who dabbled in all sorts of vice. 
He had virgins and boys 
And mechanical toys, 
And on Mondays... he meddled with mice

Everything is gone;

Your life's work has been destroyed.

Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?

There was a girl from the five and ten
Who diddled herself with a fountain pen.
The top came off,
The ink went wild,
And now she's the mother of a coloured child.

Mary had a little lamb (The sad European version)

Mary had a little lamb,
its coat was full off fleas,
but even worse the little cunt
had foot and mouth disease.

Mary had a little lamb,
its mouth was full of blisters,
but now its on a bonfire,
with all its brothers and sisters.

Sent by Jack

In the shade of an old apple tree,
Where between her fat legs, I could see
A little brown spot
With the hair in a knot
And it certainly looked good to me