An innocent boy in Lapland 
               Was told that friggin' was grand. 
                    But at his first trial 
                    He said with a smile, 
               "I've had the same feeling by hand." 

               There once was a man from Rangoon 
               Who was born 9 months too soon. 
                    He didn't have the luck 
                    To be born by a fuck; 
               He was scraped off the sheets with a spoon. 

Maggie is such a sad sack of shit 
               That no one will tickle her tit. 
                    It would make her so glad 
                    To be had by a lad, 
               Her drawers cream at the mere thought of it. 

It was a dark and stormy night.

I went to pee and lights went out.

I struggled in there, and dripped about,

But hardly managed, and was all right

And didn't need that stinking light!


Sent by Ed

There was a young fellow named Malcolm 
            Who dusted his ass-hole with talcum. 
                He'd always use it 
                Everytime that he shit, 
            And found the sensation quite welcome.