So it seems that these four rabbis had a series of theological 
arguments, and three were always in accord against the fourth. 
One day, the odd rabbi out, after the usual "3 to 1, majority 
rules" statement that signified that he had lost again, decided 
to appeal to a higher authority.

"Oh, God!" he cried. "I know in my heart that I am right and 
they are wrong! Please give me a sign to prove it to them!"

It was a beautiful, sunny day. As soon as the rabbi finished his 
prayer, a storm cloud moved across the sky above the four. It 
rumbled once and dissolved. "A sign from God! See, I'm right, I 
knew it!" But the other three disagreed, pointing out that storm 
clouds form on hot days.

So the rabbi prayed again: "Oh, God, I need a bigger sign to 
show that I am right and they are wrong. So please, God, a 
bigger sign!"  This time four storm clouds appeared, rushed 
toward each other to form one big cloud, and a bolt of lightning 
slammed into a tree on a nearby hill.

"I told you I was right!" cried the rabbi, but his friends insisted 
that nothing had happened that could not be explained by 
natural causes.

The rabbi was getting ready to ask for a *very big* sign, but just 
as he said, "Oh God...," the sky turned pitch black, the earth 
shook, and a deep, booming voice intoned, "HEEEEEEEE'S 
RIIIIIIIGHT!"

The rabbi put his hands on his hips, turned to the other three, 
and said, "Well?"

"So," shrugged one of the other rabbis, "now it's 3 to 2." 

Three men die in a plane crash and are waiting to enter heaven.
St. Peter asks the first man, "What did you do on Earth?" 
Man #1: I was a doctor. 
St. P.: Go right through those pearly gates.

St. P.: And what did you do on Earth?
Man #2: I was a school teacher.
St. P.: Go right through those pearly gates.

St. P.: And what did you do on Earth?
Man #3: I was a musician.
St. P.: Go around the side, up the freight elevator, through the 
kitchen...

Q:  What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
A:  You can unscrew a light bulb.

   A man comes home early from work and finds his wife and his best
   friend in bed. The man throws up his hands in disbelief and says, "My
   God Pete !!! I more-or-less 'have to', but YOU ???"

A fellow dies, goes to hell, and is surprised when
confronted by a room full of beautiful blondes and
kegs of beer. He asks a nearby demon if this is
really hell, and what was so bad about the place.

"Well," said the demon, "the kegs all have holes in
the bottoms, and the blondes don't!"