Should I have a baby after 35?

No, 35 children is enough.

   One Sunday morning Joe burst into the living room and said, "Dad, Mom,
   I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most
   beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan.
   
   After dinner, Joe's dad took him aside, "Son, I have to talk with
   you.. Your mother and I have been married 30 years. She's a wonderful
   wife but she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I
   used to fool around with women a lot. Susan is actually your
   half-sister, and I'm afraid you can't marry her."
   
   Joe was heart-broken. After eight months he eventually started dating
   girls again. A year later he came home and very proudly announced,
   "Dianne said yes! We are getting married in June."
   
   Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke
   the sad news. "Diane is your half-sister too, Joe, I am very sorry
   about this."
   
   Joe was furious! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news.
   
   "Dad has done so much harm. I guess I am never going to get married",
   he complained. "Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my
   half-sister."
   
   His mother just shook her head. "Don't pay any attention to what he
   says, dear. He's not really your father."
   

Father Goose Story No. 1



It seems that there were these 3 pregnant Indian Squaws, all due to give
birth at about the same time.  The first squaw gave birth to a boy, and the
birthing was done on a deer hide.  The 2nd also gave birth to a boy, but this
was done on a bear hide.  And, the third had twins, two boys, and
she did this on a hippopotamus hide.

This means that the sons of the squaw on the hippopotamus hide
is equal to the sons of the squaws on the other two hides.

Q:What did the man say when he walked 
into a bar?

A:OUCH!

Sent by Sarah

What's better than winning a gold medal at the Para-Olympics?

Having arms and legs.